DoughNOTs

Put the 'Doh!' in Doughnuts

  

It is a great disappointment to many coeliacs (myself included) that it is widely impossible to find gluten free doughnuts. 

For a while, Tesco sold their own 'ready to bake' gluten free doughnuts. They were reasonably small bricks that could be easily used to commit violent crime, but were at least filled with a sticky raspberry jam. The one saving grace for these edible weapons was that heating them up DID soften them...but not if you followed the heating instructions. 'Place in an oven heated to 160 degrees C for 10 minutes', they implored. Anyone following these instructions would have been greatly disappointed, and I learned the only way to make them really soft and tasty was to heat at between 170-180, and for 20 minutes, rather than 10. 

Unsurprisingly, Tesco withdrew their jam doughnuts within 18 months or so and have never so far attempted to provide an alternative. 

The Wheat Free Bakery (http://www.wheat-freebakerydirect.com) was the next company (and so far one of the only ones) to have another bash at doughnuts. My Father insists that on his first taste, they were soft, squidgy and virtually indistinguishable from their gluten-containing counterparts. So I was a little disappointed when I ordered some and they felt rather like quoits (anyone remember them?)

 I'm sure you'll agree, fun to play with as a child; not so tasty as an after-dinner treat! 

Bearing all this in mind, I should have suspected that doughnuts would not be the easiest of things to create. But what can I say? I'm an optimist!

To be honest, I felt like I was betting on a losing horse right from the start. The recipe I was using (taken from the Rachel Allen Bake! book) called for 450g plain flour and only 25g butter. The instructions said to 'rub butter into the flour by hand until the mixture resembled breadcrumbs'. Well, I didn't hold out much hope for that with only 25g butter to go into the battle with, but off I went. Predictably, no breadcrumb-like texture emerged, but on I ploughed, determined - for once - to follow the recipe exactly to start with.

It didn't get any better. After mixing the egg, milk and water, I had mix glued to my hands and the dough had gone incredibly dry. I added water, which helped a little, but the overall result was still a very dense dough.

Still following the instructions, I attempted to knead it but, well, have you ever tried kneading a fully-inflated football? Because that's what it was like. I ended up breaking it into individual pieces to knead. I made one big ball of it afterwards, and placed it in our airing cupboard to prove for 90 minutes.

The good news is it had actually risen! Yay!! But after re-kneading it, breaking it into balls and proving for a further 30 minutes, they hadn't actually grown at all. Not a jot. They still looked like slightly over-sized golf balls. Hmmm.

At this point, I'm afraid I decided to call it quits and not bother wasting the oil trying to cook them. It wasn't really worth it.

However, I'm not giving this one up. Next time, I shall try a specifically gluten free recipe for doughnuts and see how that works out. EVERY recipe I've seen (with the exception of the Rachel Allen one - I'm quite upset as I'm a fan of hers) requires much more butter, egg, milk and water, despite using much less flour, whether it's a gluten free recipe or not. So I'll try it again soon and if it works, I will provide a picture of the finished product. Since I wasn't able to do that this time, here's a lovely picture of a funny cat instead. Enjoy!

Valentine's Day is Upon Us

I'm going to let you in on a secret here. Are you ready? 

Okay...*whispers*...I LOVE Valentine's Day. 

Alright, you know I can see you rolling your eyes, don't you!? 

Let me explain. For a painful five years, I went to an all-girls school and, unattractive, shy little frizzball that I was (if you don't believe me, there are pictures, I'm sorry to say), I had to watch, wide-eyes green with envy, as the popular and pretty girls took possession of HUGE beautiful bouquets of flowers that, frankly, could rival the Chelsea Flowers Show. In fact, the only time I ever received so much as a card in my pre-wife days was aged nine. It was addressed to myself and my twin sister, Nicola, and the sender bashfully admitted the next day that his Mum had made him include my name just so I wouldn't feel left out. Well. That worked. 

Of course, all this meant that by the time I met my now-husband, I HATED V-Day. I wanted to smack every loved-up couple I saw and as for those stupid roses, well, I shan't say where impulse wanted me to put them. 

In fact, the very first Valentine's Day after I met Rich was a bit weird. We'd only met a few short days before and far from being 'snuggle-bunnies' (YUCK!), we were incredibly awkward around each other. He still laughingly tells of sitting next to me at a pub lunch with work colleagues that day, watching me nibble at my chips 'like a squirrel'. At that point, I couldn't imagine letting him see the way I normally eat! 

Those days are now, thankfully, long behind us and I now gladly shovel down my chips with both hands and, if available, a foot (just kidding about that last part). No more green-eyed monster for me. I'm pleased to say he doesn't buy me roses, knowing I detest them for thinking they're so much better than all the other flowers. Instead, he just does something - and it changes every year - to really make me feel special. Equally important, I do my best to reciprocate. 

With that in mind, this Valentine's Day, I decided to turn my baking focus to making something edible but romantic - and SO much better than an edible g-string...*shudder*. So here they are: my dark chocolate V-Day cupcakes, with a decadent chocolate truffle centre and a light, creamy vanilla buttercream on top. 

 Remember this Valentine's Day weekend, that the day doesn't mean spending a fortune on flowers, meals, jewellery or anything else. It doesn't even mean you have to be in love. Who needs that pressure if you're single?! Just take the opportunity to tell someone, anyone in your life, that you love them, and maybe bake them something really delicious. You could even decorate your handiwork together for extra fun. And who knows what you could do with all that leftover buttercream?!

The Latest Addiction Sweeping The Nation!

Okay guys 'n gals, we need to have a talk. This is very important so I need your FULL attention. That's right, TV off, silence the kids, put the dog in the garden and focus.

We need to talk about a very serious problem that's sweeping across the country. The world even! By this point, I believe it may already have reached pandemic proportions and is a huge threat to your time, your money and possibly even your relationships. This is an addiction that simply must be addressed. Recipe collection.

Okay, I know it sounds pretty tame, but hear me out. Yesterday, excitement overwhelmed me as I headed off with my (very patient) husband to the 20% off sale at Waterstones. First off, they NEVER have a sale that applies to everything in store. EVER. Secondly, it was the perfect opportunity to invest in a new cookbook. Yes, that's right. Invest. Because I do see every new recipe as an investment.

'Not ANOTHER cookbook!' my husband cried.

'What do you mean, ANOTHER cookbook?' I was hurt. Wounded even! Does he not realise the absolute, all-encompassing brilliance of cookbooks?

'Babes, you already have a bookshelf full of them in the dining room. You've run out of space for other books in the spare room, and you rarely make any of the recipes anyway! What's the point when you can get them all for free online?'

After I'd finished giving him what we affectionately call 'the evils', I calmly pointed out that there is no such thing as 'enough' when it comes to recipes; that I may not directly use the recipes themselves all the time, but that they serve as inspiration for the recipes I create and intend to sell as part of my business. Oh, and that there must be some room somewhere. Has he checked his wardrobe lately?

Of course, he's sort of right. I've always been a bibliophile (that's a fancy word for someone who spends too much money on books they don't necessarily 'need'). But my recipe craze has reached epic proportions of late. I have a large recipe box, stuffed with recipes torn out of magazines. I have shelves and shelves of cookbooks, which I puruse from time to time, searching for inspiration, but otherwise don't often reach for. And I have now happily agreed to take my (lovely) mother-in-law's cookery magazines off her hands when she's finished with them.

The last of those was met with yet more cries from my husband of 'NOOO!! Not MORE recipes!!!' As my mother-in-law cheerfully handed over the latest 4 from her own collection.

Despite this, I did go and buy another cookbook yesterday afternoon from the Waterstones sale. Marian Keyes' 'Saved By Cake', since you asked. It was £3 off on top of the 20% sale! What was I supposed to do? Hmm?! Anyway, I've done my usual thing already of poring over all the recipes in detail, then sticking a little post-it tab on every page where there's a recipe I want to try. It's a running joke with my in-laws that I do this and that with catalogues I fold the pages over to mark the recipes. But it's very efficient! Honest!

The truth is, I probably should stop. Do I really NEED another cookbook? Or another cooking magazine stuffed with recipes? Honestly? Probably not. But it's cheaper than gambling and it's healthier than drugs (don't do drugs, kids). So for now, I guess we'd better start looking at building another bookshelf. I wonder if there's space in the shed??